We sat atop the magnificent Mesa, stars shining bright in the heavens above: a small group around the burning logs, welcoming the presence of Grandfather, and each other.
My kids snuggled by the fire and drifted off to sleep after joining us in our offerings. Sharing in that glorious experience with them warmed my heart and I cherished theirs more. It was asked that night, “Where would our lives be if we didn’t have the gift of fire, Grandfather in our lives?” It hit me… I had been consumed these past couple of months with much internal and external conflict. Times had been grueling and unbearable. I had been praying for strength and courage to uphold and maintain my integrity through it all, but the struggle only seemed to swell with intensity. I started questioning every aspect of myself, my beliefs, Grandfather, and the power of prayer. I was letting go of my heart, feeling lost.
Sitting at the fire and reflecting on those words I began to gain a different perspective. What if I had not come to that first fire? Where would I be? I saw nothing but cold, dark, isolation. Would I be sober, experiencing my children, loving myself, gaining strength and vision of my core essence, my integrity, my self-worth? Coming to the fire opened my eyes, my heart, provided me vision to see a better future. As Grandfather said to me, “The River will take you where you need to go. Be the River.” Words I began to forget during this critical transformation period of my life where I feel I am truly becoming a woman, mother, and friend. Now more than ever, I must embrace my heart, embrace the fire in me, to truly live harmoniously with the world.
Jennifer Cichlar, Grand Junction, Colorado, USA
I am a 33 year old single mother of 2 amazing children ages 7 & 5. Ten months ago I discovered a path of healing deep wounds allowing me to open my heart, discover myself sober, and pave a heart path for my kids. I live in Grand Junction, CO. I love writing and music. I love nature of all kinds and feel very connected.
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