One of the things about being human is that we are purposeful: We literally need meaning and a sense of moving towards valuable goals in order to survive. We need purpose and meaning almost as much as we need food or water. In fact, people can endure the most extreme hardships if they feel there is meaning to be gleaned from the experience. This natural tendency plays a role in the quaint ritual of making New Year’s resolutions. And yet, if you’re like most people who set resolutions on the First, you probably have already found yourself…well**…**saying that maybe instead next year might be a better time to lose weight, earn more money, or give up eating donuts. That is, most of us weaken fairly quickly when it comes to keeping these self-improvement goals!
Research shows that instead of ‘either/or’ goals, what tends to work best are process aspirations that support our mental or emotional well-being. For example, you might resolve to have more time in nature or be in a quiet, reflective place. Or to be more grateful or compassionate. Or take steps to feel more connected to the world and others. In other words, some of the best resolutions are heart-centered: Not about asserting your will, but about orienting to life in a way that brings joy and well-being. That’s why one of the best resolutions is to spend more time by the fire—where all of the striving and anxiety of the mind can give way to a sense of wholeness, peace, and gratitude. Which makes me think I might just bring donuts to the next community fire potluck…
