It seemed a bit extreme to extend my special Fire to two days.

But I really wanted to know what this was all about, and after one day of preparation and then half the night of sitting by the Fire, I still didn’t have any answers. The Fire wasn’t talking to me  — no messages, no hints. It just felt like something big was “in the air,” but I wasn’t being informed.

I had just experienced a series of events in my life that stirred me up in a deep and uncomfortable way. I had stepped into the Sacred Fire Community, and too many things were happening too fast. I never quite felt skeptical, but all of me also felt like I was entitled to much more explanation than I was getting. Was it too late? Was my life a deck of cards that someone had thrown in the air?  It was exciting; but it was chaotic. I knew this was for me; but most of all, I wasn’t sure what it was all about, and I wanted to know…now. So, I was sort of mad and determined to be in on what was going on.

More preparation the second day, no eating, staying in the woods gathering some more wood for another night by the Fire. I was tired and I did enjoy being outside. So, before long, I forgot about being determined and let it all go. I had kept the Fire going all day and now that it was just past sunset, I added enough wood to bring the flames up higher.

Suddenly, I was moved to walk away from the Fire about 30 feet. Now, turn and face the Fire. What do you see? I looked at the Fire — it was bright, glowing, neon-like in its color, especially in the contrast with the subtle, dim, earth-tone colors of the woods, which were rapidly fading in the twilight. I see a highly energetic Fire surrounded by vague murky shadows.  “This is what it is about: transformation and change.”

TS, Brookfield, MA, USA, May 2011

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